Swipe

"You can swipe your card now!"
The definition has changed its meaning from the slang that once described the unauthorized taking of property.  It has morphed into the action used to slide a credit/debit card through a reader slot to allow money to be deducted from an account number stored in a magnetic stripe.  Swipe the stripe.  It is stealing from yourself.   It may not be stealing in the criminal sense but it is certainly taking money I don't have from the person who must pay it back whom happens to be one and the same.  Deficit personal spending is comfort food for the therapeutic shopper.  Just swipe what you need to feel better and you can delay the pay until you are dunned.  We have learned this behavior from our national economy and it is the moral equivalent of simply printing money like the Fed.  Abandoning the consequences, or denying the consequences, or kicking the can down the road is how swiping works.  So its rock paper scissors for me.  Put your card under a rock,  use your scissors to disable the card, and use paper money instead of plastic. If it isnt debit don't use it. Save up for it and buy it with money you really have.  Credit is a very misleading term which almost suggests that you win if you swipe;  you are credited, awarded, given, or souvenir'd invisible money which grants you permission to have and hold anything you want.  Swiping is pretend money and its plastic. You cannot swipe happiness.  The stripe on the back of the card is the brain.  It is a magnetic conscience that compels a swipe of pretend currency effortlessly and often without a cashier present so you can have anything you can swipe without discouraging word.  At some indeterminate timepoint the pretense has to be righted and the swipe made real.  Swipe once meant that you misappropriated somebody else's money. It still does.

FEISTY ELEGANCE

Harriet,  Aunt Harriet,  Nana,  Mum 

She once lived in New York City  Fashion District and modeled her very early feisty elegance to the boroughs.  She once lived in a city home with a Jewish family where she reinvented kosher culture. 

She once lived in a walk down basement apartment near the Arthur R. Gould Memorial Hospital and paid rent to a famous Maine State Trooper but we often suspected that she was somehow the landlady and he paid rent to her for classing up his neighborhood.   She left her keys in the car because Bud was always watching out for her and the garage bay was hers.

She once lived beside the fence that restricted access to the Presque Isle Fairgrounds and Harriet would annually create admission amnesty through her ivy covered fencehole for an elite guestlist of fairgoers.   

She worked at Sears for years but she thought she was on Madison Avenue and so did her customers.  After a fashion consult with Harriet, women would leave the department feeling like Julia Roberts.  Regional  Managers would seek her intimate understanding of retail detail and upon arrival at HER store would include Harriet in merchandising strategy meeting luncheons.   She remained loyal to the company throughout her retirement.   She accessorized life.

She accessorized Jimmy as a pilot,  Lynn wore  a CPA,  Vicki was an RN,  Terry had a chain of salons,   Denny was a Hollywood Producer and Gerri,  a dramatic starlet.   Abby and Lindsay and Brittany were super-youth with natural jewel like sparkle and promise who needed no accessorizing.  I alternated as a lawyer or a pharmacist.   She elevated everyone’s station  from within her prideful heart and generous spirit.  These enrichments were compliments,   her way to voice how special we all are.  Everyone got  the treatment.  

 Upon entering any room Harriet surveyed the perimeter and immediately began to befriend the nearest stranger by openly researching any common ground.  If you were in the room she was working you would leave with the very comfortable feeling that someone like Harriet knew everyone in your home town and they all liked you.    ”Your sister lived on Dyer Street just past Gouldville School, right?”  Someone you know,  knows Harriet.  God, for One.

 There was one room into which she walked that had Wally in it and two weeks later they were married forever.   Their marriage was thereafter accompanied by Wally’s automatic-ratcheting-machine-gun-laughter.  The stimulus for Wally’s magical song  was some highrolling Harrietcetera  and now Her call to assemble all of us here today means that she has lifted her spirit to a whole new level.   She wants be the very first to tell everyone in Heaven just who came to her funeral.

Her home on State Street was the center of the universe,  the fabric of Presque Isle’s social apron.  An Open house.  Her table was the centerpiece of life well-lived almost like being in a mural of it all.   In a Kennedy sense,  it was like Camelot.  It was an annex of the Country Club where brunch was first discovered in Aroostook County.

She cruised and bruised and wined and dined and swore and quit and prayed and fell and reeled and wheeled and dealed and healed and drove and pranced and shuffled and strolled and primped and scolded as needed. 

Harriet was socially gifted.  Whenever introduced to friends she had not met she would absorb the experience with gleeful appreciation of the new people and for weeks hence would share her special fortune with everyone.  “You’ll  never guess who I met!”   And she never slighted old friends.  Suddenly, she would make a phone call to reach out to someone she had not updated lately.   And most often the update would celebrate the latest winning of a new friend forever and ever.  Harriet called her friends out of the blue because she liked them and missed them and we should all do that more and more.  

She moved out of The County when her man surrendered to pancreatic cancer and built a beautiful life at Marcus Woods for the past 13 years.  We loved having her so close to us and frequent visits and conversations and celebrations and parties and Holidays and Wednesdays with Terry are the moments that make all our throats tighten as we think of being without her.  My tears are not for her; they are for me.  She knows everyone in heaven and loves her new place.

OREO

Two matching layers
Chocolate circles of concern
Contain a pure-white center
That urge a firm good turn

Reveal sweetened wisdom
Without broken promise crumb.

Outrageously Respect Each Other
The OREO rule of thumb.